Things More Likely To Happen Than LeBron Winning a Championship

• Tim Beckham not being a phenom
• John Wall does not go down as the greatest of all time
  
• Pavel Datsyuk stops dangling
• Yankees become boys
  
• Justin Upton becomes anti
• Duke having a black basketball player
• Charles Rogers living past 30
• JP Prince touching a NBA court
• Devin Gardner not winning a Heisman
• Charlie V grabbing a rebound
• Miguel Cabrera not winning AL MVP
• Placido Polonco wearing a normal sized hat
• Vince Carter plays a full season
• Cleveland Indians win a baseball game
• Jimmy Fallon makes someone laugh
• Stephen Curry gets paint on his shoes
• Rod Allen says something not condoned
• Coach Calipari doesn't get the best recruit
• Michigan State provides a functional NBA or NFL Pro
• Drizzy Drake falls off the rap game
• Paul Pierces wheelchair injury was worse than Shaun Livingstons injury
• Wayne Simmonds becomes relevant
• Ben Zobrist gets Mauer Money